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funny card saying generated randomly from our collections

funny quote and poem,funny retirement quote,good quotes from song lyric,catholic inspirational messages,inspirational bible sayings,

   We get lost in a fog of abstractions and easily forget that man is a bloodhound sniffing out the real.
 ~quotes about Society by Robert C. Pollock

   The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.
 ~funny card saying by George Patton

   Sex is emotion in motion.
 ~saying on Sex by Mae West

   We only part to meet again
 ~funny card saying by John Gay

   All other forms of history - economic history, social history, psychological history, above all sociology - seem to me history with the history left out.
 ~card by A.J.P. Taylor

   You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly
 ~sayings about card by Sam Keen

   In the beginning there was nothing. God said, Let there be light! And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
 ~quotes about Light by Ellen DeGeneres

   One can enjoy a wood fire worthily only when he warms his thoughts by it as well as his hands and feet.
 ~funny card saying by Odell Shepherd

   Coward: A man in whom the instinct of self-preservation acts normally.
 ~saying on Courage by Sultana Zoraya

   Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!
 ~funny card saying by Hamilton Wright Mabie

   Always choose the future over the past. What do we do now?
 ~card by Brian Tracy

   A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs.
 ~sayings about card by Joan Welsh

   Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
 ~quotes about Miscellaneous by Albert Einstein

   It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.
 ~funny card saying by Robert G. Ingersoll

   Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy ConnersLove is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conno
 ~saying on Anniversaries by Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975

   Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed.
 ~funny card saying by Cornelia Otis Skinner

   Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong.
 ~card by James Bryce

   Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
 ~sayings about card by Author Unknown

   I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Sandy Koufax

   Fort Yuma is probably the hottest place on earth. The thermometer stays at one hundred and twenty in the shade there all the time - except when it varies and goes higher. It is a U.S. military post, and its occupants get so used to the terrific heat that they suffer without it. There is a tradition... that a very, very wicked soldier died there, once, and of course, went straight to the hottest corner of perdition, - and the next day he telegraphed back for his blankets.
 ~funny card saying by Mark Twain, Roughing It, 1872, chapter LVI

   Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
 ~saying on Sex by Marlene Dietrich

   If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?
 ~funny card saying by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn

   I viewed my fellow man not as a fallen angel, but as a risen ape.
 ~card by Desmond Morris, The Naked Ape

   If you're attempting to create something perfect, I have three words of advice for you: Get over it!
 ~sayings about card by Nisandeh Neta

   The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
 ~quotes about Angels by George Elliot

   The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs itWhether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul
 ~funny card saying by Rona Barrett

   Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
 ~saying on Mothers by James Joyce

   Everyday people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
 ~funny card saying by Lennie Bruce, The Essential Lennie Bruce, 1972

   A scholar who loves comfort is not fit to be called a scholar.
 ~card by Confucius, Analects

   Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don't unravel.
 ~sayings about card by Author Unknown

   God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done.
 ~quotes about Housework by Author Unknown

   Imagine a survivor of a failed civilization with only a tattered book on aromatherapy for guidance in arresting a cholera epidemic. Yet, such a book would more likely be found amid the debris than a comprehensible medical text
 ~funny card saying by James Lovelock

   They do not love that do not show their love
 ~saying on Love Quotes by John Heywood

   So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.
 ~funny card saying by Alexandre Dumas, fils

   To live anywhere in the world today and be against equality because of race or color is like living in Alaska and being against snow
 ~card by William Faulkner, Essays, Speeches and Public Letters

   Born to golf. Forced to work.
 ~sayings about card by Author Unknown

   All we have of freedom, all we use or know - This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.
 ~quotes about Memorial Day by Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue, 1899

   For safety is not a gadget but a state of mind.
 ~funny card saying by Eleanor Everet

   Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there
 ~saying on Humor by

   Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind"Pooh!" he whispered"Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw"I just wanted to be sure of you."
 ~funny card saying by A.A. Milne

   Baseball? It's just a game - as simple as a ball and a bat. Yet, as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes. It's a sport, business - and sometimes even religion.
 ~card by Ernie Harwell, The Game for All America, 1955

   The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.
 ~sayings about card by Dave Barry

   Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food.
 ~quotes about Memory by Austin O'Malley

   My crown is called content, a crown that seldom kings enjoy.
 ~funny card saying by William Shakespeare

   To have some idea what it's like, stand in the outside lane of a motorway, get your mate to drive his car at you at 95 mph and wait until he's 12 yards away, before you decide which way to jump.
 ~saying on Baseball by Geoffrey Boycott, 1989, how a cricket batsman feels when facing a fast bowler

   Perhaps, after all, America never has been discoveredI myself would say that it had merely been detected
 ~funny card saying by Oscar Wilde

   They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men.
 ~card by Clare Booth Luce

   That which we call sin in others is experiment for us.
 ~sayings about card by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Experience, Essays, 1844

   better pissed off than pissed on
 ~quotes about Funny Saying by dad

   Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.
 ~funny card saying by Albert Einstein

   In matters of taste, go with the flock. In matters of principles, stand like a rock.
 ~saying on Self Confidence by

   By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out.
 ~funny card saying by Author Unknown

   There are more things, Lucilius, that frighten us than injure us, and we suffer more in imagination than in reality.
 ~card by Seneca

   He who eats alone chokes alone.
 ~sayings about card by Proverb

   In cricket, as in no other game, a great master may well go back to the pavilion scoreless.... In no other game does the law of averages get to work so potently, so mysteriously.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Neville Cardus, Cardus on the Ashes, 1989

   Happiness? That's nothing more than health and a poor memory.
 ~funny card saying by Albert Schweitzer

   It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.
 ~saying on Animals by Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

   A huge part of any real success is learning something new in the process.
 ~funny card saying by Nisandeh Neta

   If you bring that sentence in for a fitting, I can have it shortened by Wednesday.
 ~card by M*A*S*H, Hawkeye, The Gun


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