funny birthday sayings and quotations on birthday sayings

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funny birthday sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   Let them think I throw it. That gives me an edge because it is another pitch they have to worry about
 ~quotes about Baseball by Lew Burdette

   Talent is that which is in a man's power; genius is that in whose power a man is.
 ~funny birthday sayings by James Russell Lowell, Literary Essays

   One of these days is none of these days.
 ~saying on Procrastination by Attributed to both Henri Tubach and H.G. Bohn

   The troubles deep in the pot are known only by the spoon
 ~funny birthday sayings by Italian

   Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.
 ~birthday by Seneca

   Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.
 ~sayings about birthday by Josephine Hart

   She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand.
 ~quotes about Humorous by Saul Bellow

   It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Horace

   As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
 ~saying on Telephones by Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies

   The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water: not before or after, but instead.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Author Unknown

   To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
 ~birthday by Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876

   Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
 ~sayings about birthday by Groucho Marx

   Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
 ~quotes about Teachers by Gail Godwin

   Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Author Unknown

   Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home, and never, ever be both.
 ~saying on Parties by David Brown, quoted in Reader's Digest Quotable Quotes, April 2004

   When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

   How can the spirit of the earth like the white man?... Everywhere the white man has touched it, it is sore.
 ~birthday by Anonymous Wintu Woman

   I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
 ~sayings about birthday by Al Oerter

   Sometimes we make love with our eyesSometimes we make love with our handsSometimes we make love with our bodiesAlways we make love with our hearts
 ~quotes about Valentine's Day by Author Unknown

   The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian pahks his cah, the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to warsh his car and invest in erl wells.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Author Unknown

   An inability to stay quiet is one of the most conspicuous failings of mankind.
 ~saying on Silence by Walter Bagehot

   There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Robert Lynd, The Blue Lion and Other Essays

   Develop a built-in bullshit detector.
 ~birthday by Hemingway, advice to Stanley Karnow, as quoted in Friendly Advice compiled and edited by Jon Winokur

   We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.
 ~sayings about birthday by Richard P. Feynman

   When you reread a classic you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than was there before.
 ~quotes about Books Reading by Clifton Fadiman

   For those uneasy with the world, solitude is the only guarantee of confidence.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Terri Guillemets

   Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.
 ~saying on Stress by Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

   A man's age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man's age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell

   The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.
 ~birthday by Mark Van Doren

   Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
 ~sayings about birthday by Hungarian Proverb

   Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
 ~quotes about Faith by Martin Luther King Jr.

   One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best
 ~funny birthday sayings by Alan Shearer

   The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.
 ~saying on Kindness by John E. Southard

   Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Lewis Mumford

   Hypocrite: the man who murdered both his parents... pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
 ~birthday by Abraham Lincoln

   The basic problems facing the world today are not susceptible to a military solution.
 ~sayings about birthday by John F. Kennedy

   Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them?
 ~quotes about Adversity by Rose F. Kennedy

   A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Irish Proverb

   Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around.
 ~saying on Life by David Lodge, The British Museum Is Falling Down, 1965

   If a politician murders his mother, the first response of the press or of his opponents will likely be not that it was a terrible thing to do, but rather that in a statement made six years before he had gone on record as being opposed to matricide
 ~funny birthday sayings by Meg Greenfield

   There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.
 ~birthday by Colette

   If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought.
 ~sayings about birthday by Dennis Roth

   If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first.
 ~quotes about Cats by Arthur Weigall

   The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality
 ~funny birthday sayings by Martin Luther King Jr.

   It's like, at the end, there's this surprise quiz: am I proud of me? I gave my life to become the person I am right now! Was it worth what I paid?
 ~saying on Self by Richard Bach

   Marriage changes passion - suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Author Unknown

   God has been replaced, as he has all over the West, with respectability and air conditioning.
 ~birthday by Imamu Amiri Baraka

   There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book; books are well written or badly written.
 ~sayings about birthday by Oscar Wilde, Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891

   The creative act lasts but a brief moment, a lightning instant of give-and-take, just long enough for you to level the camera and to trap the fleeting prey in your little box.
 ~quotes about Photography by Henri Cartier Bresson

   We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Author Unknown

   You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
 ~saying on Carpe Diem by Joan Baez

   I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
 ~funny birthday sayings by John F. Kennedy, in an address to Nobel Prize winners

   Marriage is a mistake every man should make.
 ~birthday by George Jessel

   Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
 ~sayings about birthday by Zsa Zsa Gabor

   You should always believe all you read in the newspapers, as this makes them more interesting.
 ~quotes about Media Journalism by Rose Maccaulay

   For souls in growth, great quarrels are great emancipators.
 ~funny birthday sayings by Logan Pearsall Smith

   The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything
 ~saying on Birth by Oscar Wilde

   The days a man spends fishing or spends hunting should not be deducted from the time that he's on earth. In other words, if I fish today, that should be added to the amount of time I get to live. That's the way I look at recreation. That's why I'll be a big conservation, environmental President, because I plan to fish and hunt as much as I possibly can.
 ~funny birthday sayings by George Bush, quoted in Los Angeles Times, 30 December 1988

   Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; The soul that rises with us, our life's star, Hath had elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar; Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come from God, who is our home
 ~birthday by William Wordsworth


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