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funny birthday quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
 ~quotes about Children by Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969

   There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity
 ~funny birthday quotes by Washington Irving, The Sketch Book, 1820

   It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.
 ~saying on Prosperity by Groucho Marx

   Love someone who doesn't deserve it.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Author Unknown

   Two and two the mathematician continues to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five.
 ~birthday by James McNeill Whistler, Whistler Versus Ruskin, 1878

   You lose a lot of time, hating people.
 ~sayings about birthday by Marian Anderson

   Weigh twice what you can only decide once. Caution is wisdom’s elder sister. Measure twice before you saw once. Take a second look. It costs nothing.
 ~quotes about Maturing Altruistically by

   veryone wants to understand art. Why don’t we try to understand the song of a bird? Why do we love the night, the flowers, everything around us, without trying to understand them? But in the case of a painting, people think they have to understand.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Pablo Picasso

   Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy; Even love unreturned has its rainbow
 ~saying on Love Sayings by Eaton Stannard Barret

   It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Tallulah Bankhead

   If happiness you would win, share it. It was born a twin.
 ~birthday by

   The shortest path to world peace is world trade. The shortest path to domestic peace and marital peace is communications.
 ~sayings about birthday by

   The new appears as a minority point of view, and hence is unpopular. The function of a university is to give it a sanctuary.
 ~quotes about College by Martin H. Fischer

   The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954

   Is life so wretched? Isn't it rather your hands which are too small, your vision which is muddled? You are the one who must grow up.
 ~saying on Attitude by Dag Hammarskjold

   Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Author Unknown

   The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.
 ~birthday by Bella Abzug

   Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
 ~sayings about birthday by Woody Allen

   As though pure white snow flashed and sparkled with the color of bright ruddy wine, and was overcome by this radiance.
 ~quotes about Jewelry by Author unknown, about the opal

   Personality can open doors; only character can keep them open.
 ~funny birthday quotes by

   Football is like life, it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority
 ~saying on Football by Vince Lombardi

   Middle age: When you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Ogden Nash

   Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?
 ~birthday by Henry Finck

   The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.
 ~sayings about birthday by Author Unknown

   I'm cute in gym shorts! I'm slim and trim, and you'd be impressed - I've good calves
 ~quotes about Cute by Larry King

   A morning without coffee is like sleep.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Author Unknown

   No news is good news. No journalists is even better.
 ~saying on Media Journalism by Nicolas Bentley

   Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.
 ~funny birthday quotes by W. Earl Hall

   Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it.
 ~birthday by From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off

   Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker
 ~sayings about birthday by Author Unknown

   Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
 ~quotes about Happiness by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

   We cannot carry our father's corpse with us everywhere we go.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Guillaume Apollinaire, The Cubist Painters, 1913

   Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress.
 ~saying on Marriage by Author Unknown

   Nothing risqué, nothing gained.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Alexander Woollcott

   Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.
 ~birthday by Orson Rega Card

   I cannot forget my mother. [S]he is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely.
 ~sayings about birthday by Renita Weems

   Never set a standar in the love your looking for coz you'll end up eating your words. For love comes with the unlikely person and if you ask God why? He will answer: LOVE JUST MOVES IN A MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!
 ~quotes about Love by Judith >"'<

   Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?
 ~funny birthday quotes by Pierre Troubetzkoy

   I would not exchange my leisure hours for all the wealth in the world.
 ~saying on Leisure by Comte de Mirabeau

   Good habits are hard to acquire but easy to live with.
 ~funny birthday quotes by

   The happiest hours of mankind are recorded on the blank pages of history.
 ~birthday by Thomas Carlyle, Life of Frederick the Great

   I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school.
 ~sayings about birthday by Author Unknown

   What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight.
 ~quotes about Light by Joseph Joubert

   Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Carol Krucoff

   We need an America with the wisdom of experienceBut we must not let America grow old in spirit
 ~saying on Patriotic by Hubert H. Humphrey

   Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.
 ~funny birthday quotes by William W. Watt

   The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
 ~birthday by Sydney J. Harris

   For every fact there is an infinity of hypotheses.
 ~sayings about birthday by Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, 1974

   Hair is vitally personal to children. They weep vigorously when it is cut for the first time; no matter how it grows, bushy, straight or curly, they feel they are being shorn of a part of their personality.
 ~quotes about Hair by Charles Chaplin, My Autobiography, 1964

   A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Alexander Pope, in Swift, Miscellanies

   I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
 ~saying on Women by Bella Abzug

   No rage is equal to the rage of a contented right-thinking man when he is confronted in the marketplace by an idea which belongs in the pulpit.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Thurman W. Arnold

   A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
 ~birthday by Paul Valery

   The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely
 ~sayings about birthday by Ted Williams

   If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
 ~quotes about Television by Lily Tomlin

   The first and highest law must be the love of man to man. Homo homini Deus est - this is the supreme practical maxim, this is the turning point of the world's History.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Ludwig Feuerbach, The Essence of Christianity

   For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long?
 ~saying on God by Rebecca Harding Davis

   The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
 ~funny birthday quotes by Buddha

   Women should be obscene and not heard.
 ~birthday by Groucho Marx


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