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funny best friend quote generated randomly from our collections

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   They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it.
 ~quotes about Golf by Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players

   Whatever thrift is, it is not avarice. Avarice is not generous; and, after all, it is the thrifty people who are generous.
 ~funny best friend quote by Lord Rosebery

   If you're going through hell, keep going
 ~saying on Adversity by Winston Churchill

   How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
 ~funny best friend quote by Woody Allen, Selections from the Allen Notebooks, Without Feathers, 1975

   Our country, right or wrongWhen right to be kept right; when wrong to be put right
 ~best friend by Carl Schurz

   One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless.
 ~sayings about best friend by Liz Smith

   If a horse can't eat it, I don't want to play on it.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Dick Allen, on artificial turf, 1970

   Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
 ~funny best friend quote by Doug Larson

   Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.
 ~saying on Politics by Charles Krauthammer

   I get by with a little help from my friends
 ~funny best friend quote by John Lennon

   No one knows what they'll do in a moment of crisis and hypothetical questions get hypothetical answers.
 ~best friend by Joan Baez, What Would You Do If....?

   Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
 ~sayings about best friend by George Eliot

   If you haven't had at least a slight poetic crack in the heart, you have been cheated by nature.
 ~quotes about Self-Discovery by Phyllis Battelle

   I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn.
 ~funny best friend quote by C.E. Cowman

   I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
 ~saying on Food by Woody Allen

   Most men, after a little freedom, have preferred authority with the consoling assurances and the economy of effort which it brings.
 ~funny best friend quote by Walter Lippmann, A Preface to Morals, 1929

   There must be more to life than having everything!
 ~best friend by Maurice Sendak

   What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
 ~sayings about best friend by Author Unknown

   The sound of tireless voices is the price we pay for the right to hear the music of our own opinions.
 ~quotes about Freedom by Adlai Stevenson, speech, New York City, 28 August 1952

   The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don't like their rules, whose would you use?
 ~funny best friend quote by Dale Carnegie

   He that shuts love out, in turn shall be Shut out from love, and on her threshold lie, Howling in outer darkness
 ~saying on Romantic Quotes by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

   Patriotism is easy to understand in America - it means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country
 ~funny best friend quote by Calvin Coolidge

   A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon.
 ~best friend by Napoleon

   A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy
 ~sayings about best friend by George Jean Nathan

   The Cross is a gibbet - rather an odd thing to make use of as a talisman against bad luck, if that is how we regard it. Or is it, instead, a cynical reminder that Virtue usually gets pilloried whenever it makes one of its occasional appearances in this world?
 ~quotes about Religion by Denis Johnston, The Brazen Horn

   If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
 ~funny best friend quote by Abraham H. Maslow

   The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
 ~saying on Learning by Alvin Toffler

   Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.
 ~funny best friend quote by Corrie ten Boom

   I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
 ~best friend by Stanley Baldwin

   It is the man of science, eager to have his every opinion regenerated, his every idea rationalized, by drinking at the fountain of fact, and devoting all the energies of his life to the cult of truth, not as he understands it, but as he does not yet understand it, that ought properly to be called a philosopher.
 ~sayings about best friend by Charles Peirce

   Life itself is the proper binge.
 ~quotes about Dieting by Julia Child

   I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.
 ~funny best friend quote by Ogden Nash

   What's the matter with you guys? The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder.
 ~saying on Men by From the television show Civil Wars

   My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!
 ~funny best friend quote by Thomas Jefferson

   Prosperity is living easily and happily in the real world, whether you have money or not
 ~best friend by Jerry Gellis

   The United States is the only country with a known birthday
 ~sayings about best friend by James G. Blaine

   We have smothered ourselves, buried ourselves, in the vast heap of information which all of us have and none of us has.
 ~quotes about Society by Gamaliel Bradford

   If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him.
 ~funny best friend quote by Martin H. Fischer

   Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
 ~saying on Success by Lily Tomlin

   God is real, unless declared integer.
 ~funny best friend quote by Author Unknown

   Other countries have their history. Uruguay has its football.
 ~best friend by Ondino Viera

   Hospitality, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
 ~sayings about best friend by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

   If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.
 ~quotes about Cinema by Norman McLaren

   I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a good hit, which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body.
 ~funny best friend quote by Dave Barry

   In union there is strength
 ~saying on Unity by Aesop

   It’s easy enough to be pleasant, when life flow a long like a song, but the man worthwhile is the man with a smile, when everything goes dead wrong.
 ~funny best friend quote by

   My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing.
 ~best friend by Aldous Huxley

   Art is spirituality in drag.
 ~sayings about best friend by Jennifer Yane

   I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
 ~quotes about Happiness by J.D. Salinger

   I thank Thee first because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my purse they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth because it was I who was robbed, and not I who robbed.
 ~funny best friend quote by Matthew Henry

   Don't think of organ donations as giving up part of yourself to keep a total stranger alive. It's really a total stranger giving up almost all of themselves to keep part of you alive.
 ~saying on Perspective by Author Unknown

   If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops.
 ~funny best friend quote by Kelvin Throop

   Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.
 ~best friend by Steve Rushin

   What happens to the wide-eyed observer when the window between reality and unreality breaks and the glass begins to fly?
 ~sayings about best friend by Author Unknown

   Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.
 ~quotes about Autumn by George Eliot

   You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.
 ~funny best friend quote by Jan Glidewell

   We all need someone or something to inspire us to bring out our best.
 ~saying on Success by

   It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.
 ~funny best friend quote by Mark Twain

   Movement never lies. It is a barometer telling the state of the soul's weather.
 ~best friend by Martha Graham


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