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funny beer quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Tobacco, divine, rare superexcellent tobacco, which goes far beyond all panaceas, potable gold and philosopher's stones, a sovereign remedy to all diseases.
 ~quotes about Smoking by Robert Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy

   Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species
 ~funny beer quotes by W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook, 1949

   In Heaven an angel is nobody in particular.
 ~saying on Angels by George Bernard Shaw

   Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors
 ~funny beer quotes by African Proverb

   I have never advocated war except as a means of peace.
 ~beer by Ulysses S. Grant

   Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.
 ~sayings about beer by Ice T, The Ice Opinion, quoted in Reader's Digest, Quotable Quotes, February 2002

   The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic - have always blown on free men
 ~quotes about Patriotic by Franklin D. Roosevelt

   We all denounce bores, but while we do so, let us remember that there is nobody who isn't a bore to somebody.
 ~funny beer quotes by J.A. Spender

   Our prejudices are like physical infirmities - we cannot do what they prevent us from doing.
 ~saying on Prejudice by John Lancaster Spalding

   I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.
 ~funny beer quotes by Dudley Field Malone

   The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile.
 ~beer by Plato

   I have woven a parachute out of everything broken
 ~sayings about beer by William Stafford

   If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
 ~quotes about Parenting by Abigail Van Buren

   When you have done your best for a flower, and it fails, you have some reason to be aggrieved.
 ~funny beer quotes by Frank Swinnerton

   A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart
 ~saying on Cool by Unknown

   In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again.... We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.
 ~funny beer quotes by Enid Bagnold, Autobiography, 1969

   A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.
 ~beer by Françoise Sagan

   With my full philosophical rucksack I can only climb slowly up the mountain of mathematics.
 ~sayings about beer by Ludwig Wittgenstein, Culture and Value

   If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.
 ~quotes about Friendship by Alice Duer Miller

   Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them
 ~funny beer quotes by Bill Vaughn

   One should never know too precisely whom one has married.
 ~saying on Marriage by Friedrich Nietzsche

   People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around.
 ~funny beer quotes by Author Unknown

   You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one.
 ~beer by Carolyn Kenmore

   A big tree attracts the gale.
 ~sayings about beer by Chinese

   Baseball fans are junkies, and their heroin is the statistic.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Robert S. Wieder

   Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
 ~funny beer quotes by Leo Buscaglia

   The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
 ~saying on Teenagers by Raymond Duncan

   Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence.
 ~funny beer quotes by Author Unknown

   A man's soul may be buried and perish under a dungheap or in a furrow of the field, just as well as under a pile of money.
 ~beer by Nathaniel Hawthorne

   I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
 ~sayings about beer by Neil Armstrong on jogging, in an interview with Walter Cronkite

   Readjusting is a painful process, but most of us need it at one time or another.
 ~quotes about Self-Discovery by Arthur Christopher Benson

   The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
 ~funny beer quotes by G.K. Chesterton

   For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
 ~saying on Technology by Alice Kahn

   The better the gambler, the worse the man.
 ~funny beer quotes by Publius Syrus

   The report of my death was an exaggeration.
 ~beer by Mark Twain

   Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.
 ~sayings about beer by Gene Fowler, Skyline, 1961

   I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.
 ~quotes about Politics by Clarie Sargent, Arizona senatorial candidate

   The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.
 ~funny beer quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   You don't take a photograph. You ask, quietly, to borrow it.
 ~saying on Photography by Author Unknown

   Much of your pain is self-chosen
 ~funny beer quotes by Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923

   Self-love seems so often unrequited.
 ~beer by Anthony Powell

   Anger is one letter short of danger.
 ~sayings about beer by Author Unknown

   A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest
 ~quotes about Mothers Day by Irish Proverb

   That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
 ~funny beer quotes by

   Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect behind her.
 ~saying on Marriage by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

   The trouble with using experience as a guide is that the final exam often comes first and then the lesson.
 ~funny beer quotes by Author Unknown

   I fear three newspapers more than a hundred thousand bayonets.
 ~beer by Napoleon

   They gave him a manger for a cradle, a carpenter's bench for a pulpit, thorns for a crown, and a cross for a throne. He took them and made them the very glory of his career.
 ~sayings about beer by W.E. Orchard

   To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting.
 ~quotes about Books Reading by Edmund Burke

   Judge: a law student who marks his own papers.
 ~funny beer quotes by H.L. Mencken

   Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
 ~saying on Exercise by Author Unknown

   It is the safest of times, it is the riskiest of times.... What the Dickens is going on here?
 ~funny beer quotes by Denton Morrison, on chemicals, technology, and risk, quoted in National Academy of Sciences, Improvi

   Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
 ~beer by Og Mandino

   In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science.
 ~sayings about beer by Martin H. Fischer

   Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.
 ~quotes about Teenagers by Virginia Satir, The New Peoplemaking, 1988

   Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the pastLet it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go
 ~funny beer quotes by Brooks Atkinson

   There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one's self, the very meaning of one's soul.
 ~saying on Friendship by Edith Wharton

   Trip over love, you can get upFall in love and you fall forever
 ~funny beer quotes by Author Unknown

   I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
 ~beer by Albert Einstein


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