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funny baseball quote generated randomly from our collections

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   I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.
 ~quotes about Taxes by Bob Thaves, Frank & Ernest

   If you love God, burn the church.
 ~funny baseball quote by Jello Biafra

   Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
 ~saying on Golf by A.A. Milne

   Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted, than when we read it in the original author?
 ~funny baseball quote by Philip G. Hamerton

   Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
 ~baseball by Abraham Lincoln

   It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge.
 ~sayings about baseball by Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951

   The little rift between the sexes is astonishingly widened by simply teaching one set of catchwords to the girls and another to the boys.
 ~quotes about Feminism by Robert Louis Stevenson

   Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
 ~funny baseball quote by Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar, Following the Equator, 1897

   If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn't even eat hash with safety.
 ~saying on Faith by Josh Billings, His Complete Works, 1888

   I believe in God, but I'm not too clear on the other details.
 ~funny baseball quote by Bill Veeck

   The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.
 ~baseball by Helen Rowland

   This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice.
 ~sayings about baseball by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

   On thy grave the rain shall fall from the eyes of a mighty nation!
 ~quotes about Memorial Day by Thomas William Parsons

   I walk without flinching through the burning cathedral of the summer. My bank of wild grass is majestic and full of music. It is a fire that solitude presses against my lips.
 ~funny baseball quote by Violette Leduc, Mad in Pursuit

   Without freedom, no one really has a name.
 ~saying on Freedom by Milton Acorda

   That home made degree D.I.N (do it now) has turn more little shots into big shots - that any college degree.
 ~funny baseball quote by

   Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
 ~baseball by Erma Bombeck

   Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men - bring them softness, teach them how to cry.
 ~sayings about baseball by Joan Baez, Sexism Seen but not Heard, Los Angeles Times, 1974

   Even God has to practice his putting.
 ~quotes about Golf by Golf Saying

   Firmly believe you have reserves of health, energy, strength, and endurance and that firm belief will help bring them about.
 ~funny baseball quote by

   I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.
 ~saying on Sex by Jay McInerney

   Confucius say: Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.
 ~funny baseball quote by Author Unknown

   The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
 ~baseball by Kin Hubbard

   Coaching third with a pitcher on base is like being a member of a bomb disposal squad. The thing could blow up in your face at any moment
 ~sayings about baseball by Rocky Bridges

   My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.
 ~quotes about Mothers by Mark Twain

   The quantum is that embarrassing little piece of thread that always hangs from the sweater of space-time. Pull it and the whole thing unravels.
 ~funny baseball quote by Fred Alan Wolfe, Star Wave: Mind Consciousness of Quantum Physics, 1984

   It is not "anti-choice" and "pro-choice" it is "pro-life" and "pro-death"
 ~saying on Death by Unknown

   Everything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you have to do.
 ~funny baseball quote by Denis Waitley

   Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole.
 ~baseball by Author Unknown

   Literature is the question minus the answer.
 ~sayings about baseball by Roland Barthes

   Let us be thankful for the foolsBut for them the rest of us could not succeed
 ~quotes about April Fool's Day by Mark Twain

   Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures
 ~funny baseball quote by H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Instruction Book

   As long as ... record companies are ... keeping people from hearing everything but a few things, then there's got to be another avenue. ... The dam has got to break. People have the power
 ~saying on Celebrity by Emmylou Harris

   Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here in America - that we are fixed and certain only when we are in movement.
 ~funny baseball quote by Thomas Wolfe

   So dear I love him, that with him all deaths I could endure, without him live no life.
 ~baseball by John Milton

   Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.
 ~sayings about baseball by Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

   The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but That's funny...
 ~quotes about Science by Isaac Asimov

   Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
 ~funny baseball quote by Mark Twain

   Depressed people think they know themselves, but maybe they only know depression.
 ~saying on Psychology by Mark Epstein

   What is bought is cheaper than a gift.
 ~funny baseball quote by Portuguese Proverb

   A lot of long relievers are ashamed to tell their parents what they do. The only nice thing about it is that you get to wear a uniform like everbody else
 ~baseball by Jim Bouton

   He who draws noble delights from sentiments of poetry is a true poet, though he has never written a line in all his life.
 ~sayings about baseball by George Sand, 1851

   Turn your wounds into wisdom.
 ~quotes about Adversity by Oprah Winfrey

   A man may as well expect to grow stronger by always eating as wiser by always reading.
 ~funny baseball quote by Jeremy Collier

   Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
 ~saying on Technology by Arthur C. Clarke

   We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
 ~funny baseball quote by Anaïs Nin

   What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story, And the greatest good is little enough:for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams
 ~baseball by Pedro Calderon

   I've spent most of my life golfing... the rest I've just wasted.
 ~sayings about baseball by Author Unknown

   Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.... I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.
 ~quotes about Skiing by Dave Barry

   Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world
 ~funny baseball quote by John Muir

   Hee that is in a towne in May loseth his spring.
 ~saying on Spring by George Herbert

   Only those in the last stage of disease could believe that children are true judges of character
 ~funny baseball quote by W. H. Auden

   Armaments, universal debt and planned obsolescence - those are the three pillars of Western prosperity.
 ~baseball by Aldous Huxley, Island

   A woman is a person who reaches for a chair when she answers the telephone.
 ~sayings about baseball by Milton Wright

   Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.
 ~quotes about Justice by Jonathan Swift, A Critical Essay upon the Faculties of the Mind, 1707

   Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow.
 ~funny baseball quote by Denis Waitely

   Our bodies are the burial grounds of dead time.
 ~saying on Age by T.A. Sachs, in answer to Time! where didst thou those years inter, Which I have seene decease? by Wi

   Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.
 ~funny baseball quote by Author Unknown

   I have died many a death in love, and yet, had I not loved I would never have lived at all
 ~baseball by David Lasater


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