funny ass sayings and quotations on ass sayings

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funny ass sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
 ~quotes about Parenting by Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

   A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
 ~funny ass sayings by Leo Buscaglia

   Be neither a conformist or a rebel, for they are really the same thing. Find your own path, and stay on it.
 ~saying on Conformity by Paul Vixie

   It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be...This, in turn, means that our statesmen, our businessmen, our everyman must take on a science fictional way of thinking
 ~funny ass sayings by Isaac Asimov

   I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom
 ~ass by Simone de Beauvoir

   To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Death of one's own free choice, death at the proper time, with a clear head and with joyfulness, consummated in the midst of children and witnesses: so that an actual leave-taking is possible while he who is leaving is still there.
 ~sayings about ass by Friedrich Nietzsche, Expeditions of an Untimely Man

   The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief
 ~quotes about Adversity by William Shakespeare, Othello

   Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.
 ~funny ass sayings by George Scialabra

   I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience.
 ~saying on Age by Author Unknown

   Only in grammar can you be more than perfect.
 ~funny ass sayings by William Safire

   It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
 ~ass by Author Unknown

   Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
 ~sayings about ass by Sam Ewing

   Dancers are the athletes of God.
 ~quotes about Dancing by Albert Einstein

   What this country needs is radicals who will stay that way regardless of the creeping years.
 ~funny ass sayings by John Fischer

   People are trapped in history, and history is trapped in them.
 ~saying on History by James Baldwin, Notes of a Native Son

   Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
 ~funny ass sayings by Thomas Edison

   In June as many as a dozen species may burst their buds on a single day. No man can heed all of these anniversaries; no man can ignore all of them.
 ~ass by Aldo Leopold

   Read over your compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.
 ~sayings about ass by Samuel Johnson, Recalling the Advice of a College Tutor, Boswell, Life of Johnson, 1791

   I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.
 ~quotes about Wise Words by Alice Walker, The Color Purple, 1982

   If you have lived, take thankfully the past.
 ~funny ass sayings by John Dryden

   Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
 ~saying on Happiness by Margaret Young

   I hope that my achievements in life shall be these - that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been.
 ~funny ass sayings by C. Hoppe

   When you can't do something truly useful, you tend to vent the pent up energy in something useless but available, like snappy dressing.
 ~ass by Lois McMaster Bujold

   The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said.
 ~sayings about ass by Author Unknown

   What is the most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.
 ~quotes about People by Susan Sontag

   By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart.
 ~funny ass sayings by Phillip Moffitt

   Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.
 ~saying on Golf by Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum

   There are a handful of people whom money won't spoil, and we count ourselves among them.
 ~funny ass sayings by Mignon McLaughlin

   If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
 ~ass by Horace G. Hutchinson

   When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.
 ~sayings about ass by From the movie Fight Club, based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk

   Behavioral psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats.
 ~quotes about Psychology by Dr. Douglas Busch

   Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other.
 ~funny ass sayings by Sam Mussabini

   Habit is thus the enormous flywheel of society, its most precious conservative agent. It alone is what keeps us all within the bounds of ordinance, and saves the children of fortune from the envious uprisings of the poor.
 ~saying on Habits by William James, The Principles of Psychology

   Chance takers are accident makers.
 ~funny ass sayings by Author Unknown

   Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
 ~ass by Anaïs Nin

   Every wrong seems possible today, and is accepted. I don't accept it.
 ~sayings about ass by Pablo Casals

   A poet dares be just so clear and no clearer.... He unzips the veil from beauty, but does not remove it. A poet utterly clear is a trifle glaring.
 ~quotes about Poetry by E.B. White

   We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves.
 ~funny ass sayings by Author Unknown

   If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
 ~saying on Civilization by Stanley Garn

   Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
 ~funny ass sayings by Art Buchwald

   I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
 ~ass by Josh Billings

   The more sympathy you give, the less you need.
 ~sayings about ass by Malcolm S. Forbes

   Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.
 ~quotes about Health by Author Unknown

   The American reading his Sunday paper in a state of lazy collapse is perhaps the most perfect symbol of the triumph of quantity over quality.... Whole forests are being ground into pulp daily to minister to our triviality.
 ~funny ass sayings by Irving Babbitt

   How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
 ~saying on Integrity by Barry Lopez, Arctic Dreams

   A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite. I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become.
 ~funny ass sayings by Anita Wise

   We tear life out of life to use it for looking at itself.
 ~ass by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.
 ~sayings about ass by Dan Birdwell

   The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
 ~quotes about Future by Paul Valery

   I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they'll find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a streak of fat.
 ~funny ass sayings by Texas Guinan

   The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key.
 ~saying on Driving by Edward Abbey

   To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.
 ~funny ass sayings by Mark Twain, attributed

   All photographs are accurate. None of them is the truth.
 ~ass by Richard Avedon

   Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
 ~sayings about ass by Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935

   Some Americans need hyphens in their names, because only part of them has come over; but when the whole man has come over, heart and thought and all, the hyphen drops of its own weight out of his name
 ~quotes about Patriotic by Woodrow Wilson

   Use of advanced messaging technology does not imply an endorsement of western industrial civilization.
 ~funny ass sayings by Anonymous email sig line

   Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
 ~saying on Happiness by Margaret Thatcher

   The three horrors of modern life - talk without meaning, desire without love, work without satisfaction.
 ~funny ass sayings by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   A poem is true if it hangs together. Information points to something else. A poem points to nothing but itself.
 ~ass by E.M. Forster, Two Cheers for Democracy, 1951


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