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There can be no other occupation like gardening in which, if you were to creep up behind someone at their work, you would find them smiling. The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. Persecution is used in theology, not in arithmetic. Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned. Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice, more drunkards than thirst, and perhaps as many suicides as despair. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars Kindness is the greatest wisdom Not being able to govern events, I govern myself. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond. I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. If Galileo had said in verse that the world moved, the inquisition might have let him alone. Rainbows apologize for angry skies. Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships. Man can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as... from a lack of bread. How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg. Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. It is a mistake for a sculptor or a painter to speak or write very often about his job. It releases tension needed for his work. Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it. Appearances are not held to be a clue to the truth. But we seem to have no other. Coquetry whets the appetite; flirtation depraves it. Coquetry is the thorn that guards the rose - easily trimmed off when once plucked. Flirtation is like the slime on water-plants, making them hard to handle, and when caught, only to be cherished in slimy waters. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love Death may be the greatest of all human blessings. Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people. Genius usually starts great thins; only labor and drudgery finish them. We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures A new wound makes all the old ones ache again If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. For dhrames always go by conthraries, my dear. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. All television is children's television. If you got rid of all your problems, you’d have a bigger one – boredom. America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense... human rights invented America. Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling. He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. Clothes are inevitable. They are nothing less than the furniture of the mind made visible. Racism is man's gravest threat to man - the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. I love writing. 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Impartial observers from other planets would consider ours an utterly bizarre enclave if it were populated by birds, defined as flying animals, that nevertheless rarely or never actually flew. They would also be perplexed if they encountered in our seas, lakes, rivers, and ponds, creatures defined as swimmers that never did any swimming. But they would be even more surprised to encounter a species defined as a thinking animal if, in fact, the creature very rarely indulged in actual thinking. You're no good unless you are a good assistant; and if you are, you're too good to be an assistant. Every time Europe looks across the Atlantic to see the American Eagle, it observes only the rear end of an ostrich. It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles. Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. The entire history of mankind is, in any case, nothing but a prolonged fight to the death for the conquest of universal prestige and absolute power. 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