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funny anchorman quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth.
 ~quotes about Poetry by Jean Cocteau

   If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by From the television show Roseanne

   The time to read is any time: no apparatus, no appointment of time and place, is necessary. It is the only art which can be practised at any hour of the day or night, whenever the time and inclination comes, that is your time for reading; in joy or sorrow, health or illness.
 ~saying on Books Reading by Holbrook Jackson

   Constant striving is the price of constant progress.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by

   May you live all the days of your life.
 ~anchorman by Jonathan Swift

   A golfer's diet: live on greens as much as possible.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Author Unknown

   America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American
 ~quotes about Birth by George W. Bush

   Fate tried to conceal him by naming him Smith.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

   I am for an art that is political-erotical-mystical, that does something other than sit on its ass in a museum.
 ~saying on Art by Claes Oldenburg

   Ironically, rural America has become viewed by a growing number of Americans as having a higher [quality of life] not because of what it has, but rather because of what it does not have!
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Don A. Dillman, Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, January 1977

   Humility is to make a right estimate of one's self.
 ~anchorman by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

   When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Emerson

   Your body is a temple, but how long can you live in the same house before you redecorate?
 ~quotes about Tattoos by Author Unknown

   Entrepreneurship is the art of finding profitable solutions to problems.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Brian Tracy

   God made death so we'd know when to stop.
 ~saying on Death by Steven Stiles

   As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Thomas A. Edison

   Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face.
 ~anchorman by VP Pappy

   If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Author Unknown

   Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS
 ~quotes about Grandparents Day by Gene Perret

   The task of asking nonliving matter to speak and the responsibility for interpreting its reply is that of physics.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by J.T. Fraser, Time, the Familiar Stronger, 1987

   The devil’s favorite tool is tricking people to put things off. Outsmart him, DO IT NOW.
 ~saying on Growth by

   A day of battle is a day of harvest for the devil.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by William Hooke

   Trees are the earth's endless effort to speak to the listening heaven
 ~anchorman by Rabindranath Tagore, Fireflies, 1928

   Believing you know it all, will guarantee you learn nothing - and achieve even less.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Nisandeh Neta

   Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel
 ~quotes about Adversity by Gilbert Keith Chesterton, Orthodoxy, 1909

   I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample underfoot.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Horace Greeley

   The world, indeed, is like a dream and the treasures of the world are an alluring mirage! Like the apparent distances in a picture, things have no reality in themselves, but they are like heat haze.
 ~saying on Living by Buddha

   If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by W. Beran Wolfe

   And who can doubt that it will lead to the worst disorders when minds created free by God are compelled to submit slavishly to an outside will? When we are told to deny our senses and subject them to the will of others?
 ~anchorman by Galileo Galilei

   In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Author Unknown

   In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every dayIt's either that or buy a new golf ball
 ~quotes about Retirement by Gene Perret

   Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Frank Zappa

   There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a flush. It is enough to make one ashamed of the species.
 ~saying on Poker by Mark Twain

   Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by E.F. Schumacker

   Hell! There ain't no rules around here! We're trying to accomplish somep'n.
 ~anchorman by Thomas Alva Edison

   There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

   The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
 ~quotes about Miscellaneous by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essays: Second Series, 1844

   Auto-suggestion is the direct route to our rich, inner resources – the universal mind, the god mind, where all power dwells – and where all things are possible.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by

   [T]he historian lays humanity on the couch.
 ~saying on History by Lynn White, Jr.

   No man ever wetted clay and then left it, as if there would be bricks by chance and fortune.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Plutarch

   It is one of the maladies of our age to profess a frenzied allegiance to truth in unimportant matters, to refuse consistently to face her where graver issues are at stake.
 ~anchorman by Norman Douglas

   Many a man owes his success to his first wife, and his second wife to his success.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Jim Backus

   In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs.
 ~quotes about Walking by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by William Shakespeare

   Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
 ~saying on Drugs by Author Unknown

   Will urban sprawl spread so far that most people lose all touch with nature? Will the day come when the only bird a typical American child ever sees is a canary in a pet shop window? When the only wild animal he knows is a rat - glimpsed on a night driv
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Frank N. Ikard, North American Wildlife and Natural Resources Conference, Houston, March 1968

   To hear two American men congratulating each other on being heterosexual is one of the most chilling experiences - and unique to the United States. You don't hear two Italians sitting around complimenting each other because they actually like to go to bed with women. The American is hysterical about his manhood.
 ~anchorman by Gore Vidal

   Man maketh a death which Nature never made.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Edward Young

   No less than the tourist, the writer of history profits from maps.
 ~quotes about History by Charles F. Mullett

   We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Tad Williams

   Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete.
 ~saying on Grandparents by Marcy DeMaree

   I owe my solitude to other people.
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Alan Watts

   History is the story of events, with praise or blame.
 ~anchorman by Cotton Mather

   Dare to be naive.
 ~sayings about anchorman by Buckminster Fuller

   Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.
 ~quotes about Carpe Diem by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

   Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children, and not for the education of all adults of every age?
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Erich Fromm

   Goals are a preview of future events and experiences in your life.
 ~saying on Goals by Mark Victor Hansen

   But are not this struggle and even the mistakes one may make better, and do they not develop us more, than if we kept systematically away from emotions?
 ~funny anchorman quotes by Vincent Van Gogh

   He who makes a paradise of his bread makes a hell of his hunger.
 ~anchorman by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


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