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free funny sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European
 ~quotes about Sports Soccer by Phil Neville

   If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.
 ~free funny sayings by Raymond Inmon

   A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
 ~saying on Bores by Bert Leston Taylor, The So-Called Human Race

   After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over.
 ~free funny sayings by Alfred Edward Perlman, New York Times, 3 July 1958

   Every man is a reformer until reform tramps on his toes.
 ~free by Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

   I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth - I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn't embrace.
 ~sayings about free by Henry James

   It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.
 ~quotes about Very True by Author Unknown

   Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.
 ~free funny sayings by Denis Leary

   It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
 ~saying on Confidence by Edmund Hillary

   Yet some things you miss and some things you lose by keeping your arm outstretched.
 ~free funny sayings by Author Unknown

   It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
 ~free by G.K. Chesterton

   Unbeing dead isn't being alive.
 ~sayings about free by e.e. cummings

   What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
 ~quotes about Intelligence by Sigmund Freud

   Somewhere in the world there is an epigram for every dilemma.
 ~free funny sayings by Hendrik Willem van Loon

   The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
 ~saying on Bores by H.L. Mencken

   Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries
 ~free funny sayings by T. DeWitt Talmage

   Anything simple always interests me.
 ~free by David Hockney

   Sin is geographical.
 ~sayings about free by Bertrand Russell

   A handful of pine-seed will cover mountains with the green majesty of a forest. I too will set my face to the wind and throw my handful of seed on high.
 ~quotes about Helping by Fiona MacLeod

   That which distinguishes this day from all others is that then both orators and artillerymen shoot blank cartridges
 ~free funny sayings by John Burroughs, Journal

   She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
 ~saying on Humorous by Mae West

   One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip quotations down people's throats and one always secretes too much jelly.
 ~free funny sayings by Virginia Woolf

   Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
 ~free by Edward Everett

   Astronomers always work in the past; because light takes time to move from one place to another, they see things as they were, not as they are.
 ~sayings about free by Neale E. Howard, The Telescope Handbook and Star Atlas, 1967

   Teachers who inspire realize there will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how we use them.
 ~quotes about Teachers by Author Unknown

   The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions.
 ~free funny sayings by Susan Sontag

   While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
 ~saying on Mistakes by Henry C. Link

   Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.
 ~free funny sayings by Gilbert Keith Chesterton, Orthodoxy, 1909

   A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill.
 ~free by Martin H. Fischer

   We are sure to be losers when we quarrel with ourselves; it is civil war.
 ~sayings about free by Charles Caleb Colton

   Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.
 ~quotes about Attitude by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
 ~free funny sayings by Phyllis Diller

   It always seemed to me that men wore their beards, like they wear their neckties, for show.
 ~saying on Hair by D.H. Lawrence

   Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.
 ~free funny sayings by Gene Perret

   In summer, the song sings itself.
 ~free by William Carlos Williams

   Liberty is the breath of life to nations
 ~sayings about free by George Bernard Shaw

   Good for the body is the work of the body, good for the soul the work of the soul, and good for either the work of the other.
 ~quotes about Body by Henry David Thoreau

   The laws of nature are but the mathematical thoughts of God.
 ~free funny sayings by Euclid

   The field of consciousness is tiny. It accepts only one problem at a time.
 ~saying on Stress by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

   I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on.
 ~free funny sayings by Billy Joel

   I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
 ~free by Author Unknown

   God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them.
 ~sayings about free by Author Unknown

   Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true
 ~quotes about Dreams by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies.
 ~free funny sayings by Elizabeth Bowen

   How can you put on a meaningful drama when, every fifteen minutes, proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper?
 ~saying on Television by Rod Serling, quoted in Submitted for Your Approval, Public Broadcasting Station, 1995

   If the Stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile.
 ~free funny sayings by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   The tyrant dies and his rule ends, the martyr dies and his rule begins.
 ~free by Soren Kierkegaard

   Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message.
 ~sayings about free by Malcolm Muggeridge

   Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.
 ~quotes about Self-Discovery by Author Unknown

   Great experience are even better when they are share!
 ~free funny sayings by Calvin

   Are you not ashamed of heaping up the greatest amount of money and honour and reputation, and caring so little about wisdom and truth and the greatest improvement of the soul?
 ~saying on Integrity by Socrates

   Every hitter likes fastballs, just like everybody likes ice cream. But you don't like it when someone's stuffing it into you by the gallon. That's what it feels like when Nolan Ryan's thrown balls by you.
 ~free funny sayings by Reggie Jackson

   I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.
 ~free by George Jean Nathan

   The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
 ~sayings about free by Damon Runyon, More Than Somewhat, in reference to Ecclesiastes 9:11, I returned, and saw under the s

   A gold medal is a nice thing - but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.
 ~quotes about Confidence by From Cool Runnings

   If Jesus Christ were to come today people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he has to say, and make fun of it.
 ~free funny sayings by Thomas Carlyle

   There is a great man who makes every man feel small. But the real great man is the man who makes every man feel great.
 ~saying on Greatness by G.K. Chesterton

   The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes
 ~free funny sayings by Marcel Proust

   You can't give a hug without getting a hug.
 ~free by Author Unknown


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