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famous mark twain quote generated randomly from our collections

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   It’s impure thoughts that produce the secretions that create passion.
 ~quotes about Happiness by

   Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
 ~famous mark twain quote by

   I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam
 ~saying on Y by 0

   I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves - such an ethical basis I call more proper for a herd of swine. The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Albert Einstein, What I Believe, Forum and Century, 1930

   The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him?
 ~mark twain by Chuang Tzu

   Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Rita Rudner

   Friendship is Love, without his wings.
 ~quotes about Friendship by Lord Byron, L'Amitié est l'Amour sans Ailes

   Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

   I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich
 ~saying on Mothers Day by M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

   Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Daniele Vare

   In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences.
 ~mark twain by Robert Greene Ingersoll, The New Testament, Some Reasons Why, 1881

   The happiness which is lacking makes one think even the happiness one has unbearable.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Joseph Roux

   I hate music, especially when it's played.
 ~quotes about Funny Saying by Jimmy Durante

   Children have more need of models than of critics.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Carolyn Coats, Things Your Dad Always Told You But You Didn't Want to Hear

   I don't rent space to anyone in my head.
 ~saying on Conformity by Anonymous man on Candid Camera, answering Allen Funt's question about why he had not gotten upset

   The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.
 ~famous mark twain quote by John Madden

   I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker.
 ~mark twain by Voltaire

   If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Haim Ginott

   For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But here was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that this was my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there
is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way
 ~quotes about Happiness by Alfred D Souza

   That's the classical mind at work, runs fine inside but looks dingy on the surface.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Robert T. Pirsig

   [A]ll deities reside in the human breast.
 ~saying on Religion by William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

   Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man, however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giantized cankers of cities, false opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant.
 ~famous mark twain quote by R.A. Lafferty, written in the late 1800s, as quoted in Adbusters, Spring 1996

   Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.
 ~mark twain by Babatunde Olatunji

   The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Tommy Smothers

   A straight path never leads anywhere except to the objective.
 ~quotes about Goals by Andre Gide

   Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell
 ~famous mark twain quote by Emily Dickinson, "Parting"

   The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
 ~saying on Marriage by H.L. Mencken

   In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Robert Benchley

   A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to.
 ~mark twain by Louis J. Camuti

   Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Elbert Hubbard

   Let new thought make you a new man. Be you renewed by the renewing of your mind.
 ~quotes about Maturing Altruistically by

   A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Marian Sandmaier

   HELP: The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the Help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning a damn thing
 ~saying on Computers by Computer

   A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Carl Sandburg

   I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I canI want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live
 ~mark twain by George Bernard Shaw

   My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Gramma, do you know how you and God are alike? I mentally polished my halo while I asked, No, how are we alike? You're both old, he replied.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Author Unknown

   She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket.
 ~quotes about Smiles by Raymond Chandler

   It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

   A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
 ~saying on Friendship by Leo Buscaglia

   Be neither a conformist or a rebel, for they are really the same thing. Find your own path, and stay on it.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Paul Vixie

   It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be...This, in turn, means that our statesmen, our businessmen, our everyman must take on a science fictional way of thinking
 ~mark twain by Isaac Asimov

   I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom
 ~sayings about mark twain by Simone de Beauvoir

   To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Death of one's own free choice, death at the proper time, with a clear head and with joyfulness, consummated in the midst of children and witnesses: so that an actual leave-taking is possible while he who is leaving is still there.
 ~quotes about Death by Friedrich Nietzsche, Expeditions of an Untimely Man

   The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief
 ~famous mark twain quote by William Shakespeare, Othello

   Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.
 ~saying on Intelligence by George Scialabra

   I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Author Unknown

   Only in grammar can you be more than perfect.
 ~mark twain by William Safire

   It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Author Unknown

   Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
 ~quotes about Effort by Sam Ewing

   Dancers are the athletes of God.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Albert Einstein

   What this country needs is radicals who will stay that way regardless of the creeping years.
 ~saying on Age by John Fischer

   People are trapped in history, and history is trapped in them.
 ~famous mark twain quote by James Baldwin, Notes of a Native Son

   Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
 ~mark twain by Thomas Edison

   In June as many as a dozen species may burst their buds on a single day. No man can heed all of these anniversaries; no man can ignore all of them.
 ~sayings about mark twain by Aldo Leopold

   Read over your compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.
 ~quotes about Writing by Samuel Johnson, Recalling the Advice of a College Tutor, Boswell, Life of Johnson, 1791

   I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Alice Walker, The Color Purple, 1982

   If you have lived, take thankfully the past.
 ~saying on Gratitude by John Dryden

   Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
 ~famous mark twain quote by Margaret Young

   I hope that my achievements in life shall be these - that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been.
 ~mark twain by C. Hoppe


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