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The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim. A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein. Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor. We have been god-like in the planned breeding of our domesticated plants, but rabbit-like in the unplanned breeding of ourselves. Photographs that transcend but do not deny their literal situation appeal to me. You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by. Life has been reduced to getting food out of cans. This is how humans are: we question all our beliefs, except for the ones we really believe, and those we never think to question. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beerOh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza Nostalgia for what we have lost is more bearable than nostalgia for what we have never had.... Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow But the fruit that can fall without shaking,Indeed is too mellow for me. American youth attributes much more importance to arriving at driver's-license age than at voting age. The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war. Courage is the fear of being thought a coward. If you come to a fork in the road, take it. The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate. To be capable of steady friendship or lasting love, are the two greatest proofs, not only of goodness of heart, but of strength of mind. Any affectation whatsoever in dress implies, in my mind, a flaw in the understanding. When I study philosophical works I feel I am swallowing something which I don't have in my mouth. Men are too unstable to be just; they are crabbed because they have not passed water at the usual time, or testy because they have not been stroked or praised. Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter. The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act. Make yourself do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain. Face fears fiercely and they’ll flee. He who battles with us strengths us. There are no perfect men in this world, only perfect intentions. I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill. A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. Like a lot of fellows around here, I have a furniture problem. My chest has fallen into my drawers. Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. We are inclined that if we watch a football game or baseball game, we have taken part in it. The secret of teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you just learned this morning. I am more afraid of an army of one hundred sheep led by a lion than an army of one hundred lions led by a sheep. Its avowed purpose is to excite sexual desire, which, I should have thought, is unnecessary in the case of the young, inconvenient in the case of the middle aged, and unseemly in the old. Malcolm Muggeridge, on pornography, Tread Softly For You Tread On My Jokes, 1966 Who is wise? He that learns from everyone. Who is powerful? He that governs his passions. Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation This strange disease of modern life, with its sick hurry, its divided aims. I believe if I should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth I would hear your footsteps. When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. Life is not long, and too much of it must not pass in idle deliberation how it shall be spent. A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward. All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. Boredom is like a pitiless zooming in on the epidermis of time. Every instant is dilated and magnified like the pores of the face. God is growing bitter, He envies man his mortality. Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. Whenever you meet stranger, try to leave him as s friend. Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction When we're unemployed, we're called lazy; when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression. If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music. Death? Why this fuss about death? Use your imagination, try to visualize a world without death! . . . Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil A liberal-arts education is supposed to provide you with a value system, a standard, a set of ideas, not a job. Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. She looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Constant use will not wear ragged the fabric of friendship. 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