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I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back. There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises." Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. What is a face, really? Its own photo? Its make-up? Or is it a face as painted by such or such painter? That which is in front? Inside? Behind? And the rest? Doesn't everyone look at himself in his own particular way? Deformations simply do not exist. Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward. I am no more humble than my talents require. Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools. We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustionYou must set yourself on fire A boy who hears a lesson in history ended by the beauty of peace, and how Napoleon brought ruin upon the world and that he should be forever cursed, will not long have much confidence in his teacher. He wants to hear more about the fighting and less about the peace negotiations. As long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst of military glory will ever be the vice of exalted characters. God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style. He just goes on trying other things. They say that age is all in your mindThe trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. The biggest liar in the world is They Say. If we could all hear one another's prayers, God might be relieved of some of his burdens. The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt. For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind? And when the Earth has claimed our limbs, Then we shall truly dance Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. One day while Groucho Marx was working in his garden (dressed in well-worn gardening attire), a wealthy woman pulled up in a Cadillac and endeavored to persuade the gardener to come and work for her. How much does the lady of the house pay you? she asked. Oh, I don't get paid in dollars, Groucho replied, glancing up. The lady of the house just a lets me sleep with her The greatest crimes are caused by surfeit, not by want. The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. The founding fathers... provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you. I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. Faith makes the discords of the present the harmonies of the future. Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training. When an American says that he loves his country, he means not only that he loves the New England hills, the prairies glistening in the sun, the wide and rising plains, the great mountains, and the sea. He means that he loves an inner air, an inner light in which freedom lives and in which a man can draw the breath of self-respect. No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist. Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. There are far too many men in politics and not enough elsewhere. Action is life, stagnation, death. Nature’s law: use it or lost it. We all need encouragement. We can live without it just as a young tree can live without fertilizer, but unless we receive that warm nurturing, we never reach our full potential, and like the tree left to itself, we seldom bear fruit. Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks. Nothing can take the place of persistence. Talent will not. Thousands with talent are drifters. Genius will not. Un rewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence alone solves all the world’s big problems. How far that little candle throws his beams!So shines a good deed in a weary world. The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. We are perverse creatures and never satisfied. The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and fee for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. I am whatever you make me, nothing moreI am your belief in yourself, your dream of what a people may become.... I am the clutch of an idea, and the reasoned purpose of resolutionI am no more than you believe me to be and I am all that you believe I can be A man of courage never wants weapons. What of soul was left, I wonder, when the kissing had to stop? Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out. Happiness is sharing a bowl of cherries and a book of poetry with a shade tree. He doesn't eat much and doesn't read much, but listens well and is a most gracious host. Great love affairs start with Champagne and end with tisane. Humor is just another defense against the universe I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. He who angers you conquers you. The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground. Men are idolaters and want something to look at and kiss and hug, or throw themselves down before; they always did, they always will; and if you don't make it out of wood, you must make it out of words. Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. Patience is the companion of wisdom. 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